Having a c-section is hard. Unless you’ve gone through the operation, you probably don’t quite understand how difficult the recovery is. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying a natural birth is easy. The duration of labour is much longer and more painful. There is a chance you will either have a tear or episiotomy which is not pleasant. But the recovery for a natural birth is much shorter than for a c-section – generally women are back up on their feet very quickly after a natural birth. As a c-section is a major operation (7 layers of tissue are cut through), it’s much harder to do things like sitting up in bed, moving around and basic things such as changing a nappy, breastfeeding etc. And that’s on the premise that there are no complications from the c-section, for example wound infection, a blood clot or post dural puncture headaches.
So if you have a friend or family member who has just had a c-section and you want to help, here are some things that will be particularly helpful.
- Drop off some pain relief.
She’ll be taking fairly regular analgesia when she’s been discharged, and it’s hard to buy a lot of paracetamol and ibuprofen due to the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) rules. So dropping off a couple of packets is always helpful to ensure she’s got enough and not having to go out to the shops if she runs out.
- Drop off food
When a family is trying to get to grips with a new arrival that can often be very noncompliant about feeding times and sleep, it’s always hard to find the time to cook. Especially healthy, nutritious meals that are vital for a good recovery. Standing up for a long period of time to cook or bending down or stretching to get things out of cupboards is very painful. So dropping off a home cooked meal goes a long way, you probably won’t understand how much they appreciate it. If you’re going to the shops, drop over some milk, some fruit and some snacks. If you’re not a cook, then buy some big ready meals they can put in the freezer or some takeaway vouchers would be equally appreciated.
- Offer to drive them to any appointments/trips out
Following a c section, the recommendation is not to drive until 6 weeks after due to not being able to manage emergency braking with your abdominal wound. Usually being signed off by a doctor at the 6 week check is a requirement of the car insurance. So she’s probably going to be stuck in the house, particularly if her partner only has a very short paternity leave. So if you can, take her to any appointments she might have, or just offer to take her out to a cafe, a garden centre or a shop if she wants a bit of normality for an hour. She will probably appreciate some extra hands to help with the baby (and any other additional children in tow).
- Pop over to do some jobs
If she is up for a visit, then come over but agree ahead of time how you could be most helpful. She might appreciate you taking a load of washing back to clean, or doing the washing up, or the hoovering. She might appreciate you just holding the baby whilst she takes a nap. She might just appreciate you sitting there and talking to her about the birth (or anything other than babies!). A lot of people visit, and generally people promise to help but they only want to hold the baby or it seems like their offer of help isn’t really genuine so she doesn’t feel comfortable to ask them to do something. Agreeing ahead of time reduces the awkwardness and she can be honest about what she would appreciate most. The more she can focus on resting, the quicker her recovery will be.
- Pay for a cleaner
If you have the money, arranging a cleaner to come would be a really appreciated gift! Make sure you ok it with her first so that she’s comfortable with that, but generally if you say ‘I’ve found a great cleaner and I would like to pay for 3 weeks of cleaning if that’s ok with you’ isn’t going to be turned down! She won’t be able to pick up anything heavy or bend down to scrub toilets for a while, and her partner will appreciate being able to be on hand to hold the baby, or manage the other children running around!
- Buy a nice water based cream for scar massage
Often women aren’t given much information around how to care for the scar, but after about 12 weeks it’s encouraged to do scar massage with a water based cream. This helps the recovery and will reduce any pain/tightness there. If you’re unsure what to get, speak to a pharmacist.
- Buy some pyjamas
Find some nice, large pyjamas – chances are she might not have enough and they’ll be getting covered in baby spit up anyway! Having button up pyjamas or nighties will be more comfortable and easy for her to use and reduce pressure on the scar.
